Since when do you not relate to yourself?

There are passages in the lives of us Women who represent such significant turning points that they require profound reflection.

Immediately clear the field from the possible connection between reflection equal stop. No, is not like this. Stopping, for us Women is like a reflection while we do and at the same time, we adjust the shot.

We have so much to recover from the past that has taken away rights and opportunities that stopping is not useful to the cause.

But the changes, the evolutions, the rebirths of us Women are those inner hurricanes require an important reflection that we do not (very often) and that nobody perceives if not “do you know that I find you different … will the hairstyle be?”

No, it’s not the hairstyle! Women are so good at not disturbing and keeping the Harmony that we there are ages, evolution after evolution before it is known. Why? Because when we experience that profound reflection that leads us to the relationship with ourselves, you see, I assure you that it is clear and all the whole world realizes it. And it’s not about combing.

It will seem like a contradiction: if there are change, growth and evolution there is necessarily a relationship with ourselves. Yes, that’s right. But I ask you: after all that whirlwind of winds and storms that you have passed and you look at yourself on the safe mirror heartened to have done it again this time, bringing home the result (whatever it is), you stop to ask yourself who you have become?

Do you know who you really are after that long, or short period, of inner discussion between the difficulties of wanting to be? Are you struggling to affirm it, not knowing how to do it, do it with one step forward and two steps back? Do you know who you became after all those right actions and all the mistakes you made and that you never wanted to do but that offered you another piece of you? Do you know who you have become after having touched your limits and have moved a small piece of it day by day? Do you wonder who you become after having doubted a thousand times about yourself that you would not have made it and that you were not enough and right for that context, for that relationship, for that job, for that group and above all for yourself? Who are you after the races and the moral and physical injuries and tons of No? And who have you become after having continued that road, that only you know and see, while the others told you that you had the wrong path? Who did you become after you saw the arrival and it was just a mirage, but did you go on? Who did you become after the loss, after having entrusted heart and blood and being left almost without lifeblood? Who did you become after you rose from the dust?

Since when do you wonder who you have become? When do you not relate to yourself?

Why this question?

There is, between the hurricane of becoming the landing to have become, a necessary passage that you owe to yourself:

The Acknowledgement

Acknowledgement Relating to yourself is the relationship. The first is the most important that makes you understand who you were who you are and who you want to be.

However, although we are talking about the most important relationship, we do not have meetings, we live without frequenting each other, reaching out to satisfy the lives of others to the care to be given to the duties to be paid, relegating to our inner relationship a quick and approximate “I did it”.

I add “almost done”.

We, Women, are very good at overcoming crises the difficulties, pains, fatigue and energetic commitment that evolutionary passages required but we skip that therapeutic, alchemic moment of verification and relationship within ourselves.

But how can you figure out who you’ve become if you skip your acknowledgement?

The action of acknowledgement towards ourselves is a necessary act essential to confirm to ourselves who is arrived after the storm.

You will see that you know it perfectly, having experienced that hurricane first-hand. And yet, very often we skip this profound acknowledgement meeting during which we clearly recognize and confirm who we have become.

By skipping this step we do NOT recognize our strength, we do NOT see our courage, we do NOT evaluate perseverance and will, we do NOT believe in ourselves waiting for safety from outside, we do NOT consider ourselves capable of finding solutions, so that our being, wisdom, the personality is reduced to a minimum.

All the times we skip the meeting with ourselves and we fail to recognize and confirm, we deduct from our identity our baggage of experience that has made us become. We have become but if we do not recognize it we will never know it and we will not know how to fully live who we really are. Unknown to ourselves.

Whenever I overcome an inner hurricane, every time the change brings about the transformation, I have the duty to recognise myself again. Without this step, I lose much of the wealth that I acquired during the path.

So, I Re-know, I confirm, I declare it. With detail, specifying the qualities, the skills, the will, the strength, the determination, the inner love that has dried my tears, the wisdom that has been able to speak with fears and pain, the fatigue that has accompanied me in travel. I accept my mistakes as a result of the necessary experience

And after this realisation, I have the clarity of myself of who I have become. From this point, I set off for the new journey

Every single word I have listed has for each woman a story of an indefinable beauty that speaks of life and of identity that must be re-known and confirmed.

It is the recognition we make to ourselves that makes the difference, in our lives and in our Being Women in the world.

It is your moment: the one with yourself, with the One who has become

Letting go

While returning home the other afternoon I was assailed by a melancholy and very strong smell of Goodbye. The intense colours and the smells of the wet earth the yellow and red leaves along the way caught my heart telling me that the time to leave has arrived. Every goodbye is painful, especially those that concern us personally.

But what are those farewells so difficult to give and take?

Those that we owe to ourselves, those who confirm that a part of us no longer serves us, rather limits us, blocks us.

Although we are aware we cannot let go of behaviours that we feel an integral part of our everyday life. We do not behave like the tree that confidently allows nature to take its course. We struggle strenuously to hold back old patterns, habits, thoughts, attitudes, ways of doing things, shortcuts and rules because, in the end, it is so that we have organized ourselves to understand deciphering and supporting our world.

Coming home with the melancholy of those vivid colours and full of goodbye, I thought of my farewells. Long drags hiding the truth of limitations and moving forward keeping everything over your heavier shoulders.

Towards the Salvation of Letting Go

As the steps proceeded towards home my mind was thinking about the next goodbye. I know I must – once again – allow that part of me that no longer works to fall as well as the dry leaf falls from the tree. I MUST DO IT naturally to give me the chance to grow and SAVE myself from behavioural patterns and habits that limit me.

I wondered, passing among the leaves of plane tree what I could and had to do, and what prevents me from making that farewell.

Letting go of that part of me means accepting my useful death.

As soon as the thought was composed everything was clear. It’s the fear of losing that “me” that holds me back and grips me tightening what I don’t need anymore. I am afraid of forgetting and losing that image of me, useful until recently but which now must leave room for my new Me.

I should be used to it! It happened to me so many times and I know that it will happen again, fortunately!

Still, that feeling of loss occurs at every season of change. I know very well that after this salvation I WILL be reborn and the energy of birth will lead me lightly to where I am going, but why hold this back?

The questions always find answers

This question made me look at the leaves. Wrinkle away from the mother tree: I asked myself what are they for?

They are the evidence of the passage, the eulogy of change.

While the return home was near, in the hour before sunset I realized that, just as the leaves celebrated their farewell, I also had to recognize the passage, I had to celebrate my change.

To change means in part to die. To accept the salvation of letting go that gives us to a new better life.

I celebrate my change here with words, as I am used to doing by putting a black and white for future memory to remind me to accept that fear that will bring me to my joyful new birth.

The Magic of Coaching

Magic happens every time. That alchemic force knows how to open the door of darkness. That darkness is difficult to look at and untangle. Yet during the magically coaching session, that door opens slowly.

Unspoken words, unacknowledged pains, chained emotional sequences, unconsciously replicated patterns, non-functional habits come out from that door.

The magic of Coaching brings light and comes to clarity.

I know it will happen, could be in the first sessions or maybe halfway but I know it happens. Building faith, questioning and active listening, responsibility and energy lavished by both is the extraordinary Alchemy that realizes the Magic of Coaching.

I’m working in One-To-One with extraordinary women and with a resourceful man, who they have incredible skills, talent and a moving soul.

September was drenched in profound sessions and this October Londonish, finally rainy already shows intense sessions full of strong emotions, we work a lot but also laugh with a new awareness.

Complex issues and activities are dealt with in small steps or with prodigious leaps, growth spurts lead to identifying that very personal road that leads to the goal.

Everything starts with a free coaching session where we know each other that identify the needs to be met, see the path and what can I do, as a humble instrument of coaching, so that the Magic of change is realized.

The magic of making the life you want to happen with the will to reach the full harmony of yourself. That hour of coaching gives the first instruments, confirms that one is on the move and the Client turns his attentive gaze to his Creator Self

The objectives set at the beginning of the course are perfected and real actions are performed, the path is traced. From that state of blockade, of indecision, of doing and making mistakes, of doing and trying again we arrive at doing and we reach the goal with creative and generative force.

This is the coaching: to touch the greatness of the human being, that inexhaustible strength of recovery and rebirth. Transformative alchemy takes place.

I am grateful to this profession that helps me more and more to carry out my purpose in life: to be a component of the Magic of your Change.

Coaching is magic because everything happens if you want it.


Try your Whell of Life

The image of the wheel of life has been made by an extraordinary illustrator who has chosen to work in one-to-one coaching path.

She chose to personalize the wheel of life according to her taste using colours and images that most symbolized every aspect of her life.

The Wheel of Life is one of the first activities I use to the client. The result is clear.

The segments correspond to a specific area of life: Personal Growth, Objectives, Work / Career, Friendship, Safety, Energy, Self-Esteem, Fun and Fun, Home and Family, Relationships, Finances, Health and Wellness must be coloured according to satisfaction of that specific area.

Completed the activity the Wheel shows a clear snapshot of the quality of life level. It highlights the balance we have achieved and on which area we need to work to bring it back into balance. The wheel of life is very important: the customer “sees” for the first time his big picture.

Resuming periodically this activity – even every six months – allows a quick check: inner, social and professional status, relational and economic.

When she has shown it to me and commented on it, I realized how much represented her kind and personal sensitivity as well as in her professional determination.

Through so many activities and sessions, Francesca in the one-to-one coaching process has shown her talent, expertise and abilities,

During the meetings full of deep-felt insights, she reactivated her creative organizational potential. With commitment but also with fun Francesca has recognized herself and given herself the right to be an artist – which she is.

Now, when she shows up, is more aware of herself, a creative soul and an illustrator and designer as well as an aspiring tattoo artist.

Session after session she has built his personal progress.

Her Wheel of Life is in the kitchen where she can see it every day and see in a glance how is going well.

The Wheel of Life is a simple and fun activity, like an inner selfie

If you are curious or want to better understand what you can get by working with me go to the one-on-one service and contact me: the pre-session is free, and it will be a very good time

Back to reality

You have unpacked your cases and for a moment you taste the flavour of home. You look around entering all the rooms and you start counting.

Plants are thirsty. The dust has settled on the books on the chairs on the chandeliers and on the laptop. Settled your luggage, souvenirs, maps, looked at the payment receipts you find everywhere, you’re at home. The light seems different to you.

Do another round and here you see them.

They are right there where you left them, near the entrance next to the umbrella stand. And now they look at you.

Not now! Please, not now!

When you return and you, still, have the sweet taste of the days of freedom, far away from workloads, to-do-lists that never end, deadlines and payments, you don’t want to see any problem. But cheeky they are there.

You turn around and go into the living room looking for a way to get rid of unsolved problems. You ask yourself: why they are still there and haven’t left?

Here, this situation is very common. Come back from vacation is quite hard. Not because of the end of the holidays itself, but because the problem demands to be solved by you. Obviously!

What’s now?

The impulse is twofold: to continue procrastinating or face it head-on and solve it. If the problem has been dragged on for so long – not only will it seem more intricate to you – but groping to solve it in one shot, at the first difficulty you are going to meet, you will put it aside again. No more than less than when you did the previous time.

Although I don’t like mathematics, the first help comes from algebraic expressions.

To solve the problems, you can use the simple rule of expressions: the steps of the algebraic expressions clearly explain how to find the result.

Have you ever played an algebraic expression in one step? I know from other more competent people than me that more steps are needed.

So, a problem is solved in small steps, to keep the procedure under control and see if everything runs smoothly.

One way that I use – as I said before, math could be an opinion for me – is write down the problem adding details about what to do and how strategic it is for the solution.

But the most important aspect is (here we go again; the math pursues me) and to respect the resolution rule: you can’t start from the outside if you haven’t solved the inside  

During coaching sessions, this situation often arises: a professional problem that the Customer assigns to factors external to himself often requires internal work by the Customer

Assigning the time to observe the problem in its entirety is an accurate starting point, understanding what it implies on an emotional level.

It is important to understand its size and possible offshoots: determining how long it will take will be strategic because you can choose when to take care of it, and you will know which part to work on. The analysis will show you the level of the task and will help you find the best way to act and if you need some support.

Aren’t you a person asking for help? Because it does bother you because you don’t want to talk about your problems? Learning to share the less appealing part of you it will help you to show your own humanity, but this is another speech we will talk about one other time.

Give birth and be born

Giving birth to your website and being born, is an important matter.

Putting the pieces together and declaring one’s personal professional and inner self requires profound knowledge and reflection on oneself.

When it is your mother who gives you to the world, it is a fact – apparently simple – but when you choose to give yourself to the world it is another matter.

Doing it – in its gestation – took longer than the standard 9 months. If I can make a continuation of the metaphor of pregnancy, knowing that you will not only give birth the professional individual but also – as a brand – the private and public parts- requires much more preparation – therefore a multi-gem birth -.

In these months, where the date of re-opening of the site has been postponed several times, I had to deal with who I am for me and who I am for others who read me and choose me as a coach and writer.

The phases that I went through have passed from safety and extreme confidence to long moments of darkness in which I did not recognize myself.

Knowing oneself is a journey that never ends, and our evolution influences our approach to life, the choices made and beyond this, knowing oneself requires constantly harmonization of our personality.

I had decided to create a new site for my profession as a coach, I activated the executive machine and the graphic studio, which designed the logo following my most internal requests, colours choices and the meaning of every single line. I started working on the contents and there the first crisis!

I would have had a site as a coach and ones as a writer and this didn’t work for me. I felt I was separated, torn apart. The reasoning did not work at an emotional and inner level.

The habit of cataloguing, labelling had shown itself in full. Once again, I was about to fall back into the usual mistake: only one side of my energy-rich personality, towards the outside, projected towards others, a light and a perennial sun.

For a month I blocked everything: too many colours, too much energy to the outside and nothing of the inner energy. That part of my personality who support and defining for my every change I was once again leaving it aside.

The sensations and seeing those colours that represented me in the logo were not complete. The answer was simple: to be me with all my shades of deep black, bright red, electric blue acid yellow and metallic violet.

The site presents me for what I am today, it will surely change as life will offer me the opportunity to change again and again.

I learned a new level of knowledge. I have learned that although different, apparently opposed, TOGETHER is the functional support for all myself to be harmonious and free from the full expression of light and shadow.

1st Anthology Stratford Poetry Group, my new poems in English

1st Anthology Stratford Poetry Group, my new poems in English

My new poems in English. In 2016 I met a Poetry group on Meetup. A marvellous Poetry Group thanks to the application where you can do what you love connecting people that they love to do too.

I met Sonia a Colombian poet and suddenly I felt in the Stratford Library as in Home. Since I started in the group, this two hour has been a special place for my soul, for my feelings, my darkness and uncomfortable days, a special place to get a specific time, reflecting about my life.

Actually, what is life, whether is it not Poetry? Isn’t? After many words games, improving even my bad English, after coffee and tea, meeting different creative talented people from different cultures, in this two poetry hour in the Stratford Library I start to game with poetry & English

Speaking in a different language bring you up to think differently. In the beginning, I felt as the words haven’t any taste even my intention was the same as I used to be. Writing and reading my Italian Poems is home, writing and reading my English poem is a hard construction.

Then after a little summer school in the Poetry Group, I challenged my self, using words that haven’t be a part of my childhood, of my life experience, hadn’t born under a warm sun, I started to feel a new taste writing and reading my English poems.

And yes, here we go. The 27th, there will be the launch of 1st. The book of the Stratford Poetry Group. Our Poems.

We created a collection of poems thanks to Sonia’s idea and the support of the Stratford Library. New feelings, new poems trying to be free, without the roles that I followed writing in Italian, without the label that I dressed thinking in Italian where my inner censor didn’t allow me to say something, no so good, uncomfortable as the truth can be.

I’m very happy and grateful that my words are taking a new flavour, a taste unexpectable and much more close to me, to my soul to my idea of true poetry that must be, and can be for the humanity.